title

 I’m not really feeling these introductions much so… whatever!

030

DigDug

Another round of perfect attendance… Splendid!

Now if you keep this up maybe one day you’ll get to leave.

See you at the bell.

Cousin

Everyone seems so restless, I wonder what they’re planning to do today?

Yes… Galaga. Tell us what you’re planning to do today.

GALAGA014

Cousin

Hey Galaga! How’s it going?

Galaga

COUSIN! DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HELP ME REHEARSE?

GALAGA015

Please don’t be coy, Cousin, Galaga straight up asked to rehearse.

Cousin

(OH! Is Galaga Ship completely dazzled by my charm? I’ll have to dial it back a bit.)

Okay, yeah. Rehearsing is cool.

Galaga

GREAT, LET’S GO SOMEWHERE QUIET…

__________________________________________________________________

GALAGA016

Somewhere quiet turns out to be the same classroom we were in.

Cousin

Okay, so, I am here to make the rehearsing!

Galaga

GREAT. THANKS FOR JOINING ME TODAY, COUSIN.

Cousin

Uh, yeah!

Y’know. Anything to help out with the Drama Club or whatever!

Galaga

THAT’S THE SPIRIT!

OKAY, THIS IS GOING TO TAKE A WHILE. PARTLY BECAUSE YOU’RE SO NEW TO ACTING.

Cousin

(I choose to take that positively!)

I’m gonna do my best, Galaga Ship, don’t you worry!

Galaga

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEAH…

GALAGA017

Screencapped for posterity.

Galaga

THAT’S GOOD.

Cousin

Great, where should we meet up?

Galaga

LET’S JUST HEAD TO THE AUDITORIUM. THE ONLY PEOPLE LEFT ARE IN DETENTION, SO WE’LL HAVE THE PLACE TO OURSELVES.

Cousin

(A-alone?)

(WITH GALAGA SHIP???)

(Breathe, Cousin. BREEEAAATHE!)

Galaga

IF WE GO NOW, I CAN AVOID THAT CREEPY RICHARD MILLER. HE TAKES NOTES.

Cousin

That doesn’t sound too creepy…

Galaga

NO, LIKE, ON THE STUDENTS. THEIR MOVEMENTS AND STUFF.

GALAGA018

RichardMiller

 

Note to self. GALAGA SHIP KNOWS TOO MUCH.

Cousin

He’s not very sneaky about it, is he?

RichardMiller

Note to self: TURNS OUT NEW KID IS A LITTLE RUDE ACTUALLY.

Galaga’s sprite moves a little to the left, away from Richard.

Galaga

YEAH, I DON’T KNOW WHY HE FEELS THE NEED TO NARRATE THE NOTES HE’S TAKING.

Cousin

It’s weird. Let’s get out of here!

The screen fades to black and we get text-only dialogue from Cousin.

Cousin

(Whew. Turns out rehearsing’s tougher than I thought it’d be!)

GALAGA019

Galaga

COUSIN? IT’S YOUR LINE NOW.

Cousin

!!!

Oh, right. Yeah. Ahem.

AY!!! YOU HAVE BEEN A MOUSE? HUNT! IN YOUR TIME!!!

Galaga

COUSIN. THAT’S THE WRONG PAGE.

AND THE WRONG CHARACTER.

Cousin

(Being a great actor sure is a lot of work!)

Uh, yeah. It’s hard to keep track of all these lines.

There’s just so many of them!

But you’re really good at this acting stuff, Galaga Ship. How do you do it?

Galaga

I KNOW YOU’RE JUST SAYING THAT. AKI’S BETTER.

WELL, IN THEORY ANYWAY.

Cousin

If you say so. I hope she has an easier time with Romeo’s lines than me though!

Galaga

YOU’D HAVE TO FIND ONE OF ROMEO’S LINES FIRST.

Cousin

H-hey! There’s a lot of words in this thing!

And I only understand about half of them!

(Well. Almost half of them…)

Anyway, it’s easy to get a little lost.

Galaga

HAHA. I’M JUST TEASING YOU, COUSIN. EVERYONE’S SKILL LEVEL IS…

…UH

…DIFFERENT.

AND YOURS IS…

…UM.

VERY DIFFERENT.

Cousin

(There’s no bad way to take that!)

Well, I’m just out here tryin’ to do my best like everyone else!

(Yes, a very diplomatic response. Well done, cousin.)

Galaga

THAT’S A GREAT ATTITUDE.

I JUST WISH…

NO.

I DON’T KNOW.

Cousin

You okay?

Galaga

NO, IT’S STUPID. NEVERMIND.

Cousin

But something’s bothering you.

Galaga

LET’S JUST WORRY ABOUT THE PLAY.

Cousin

Well, okay. If you’re sure?

Galaga

NO, YEAH. I’M FINE.

LET’S PICK UP WITH ROMEO’S LINE ABOUT NIGHT’S CLOAK. OKAY?

Cousin

Right. Okay. Yeah.

(Night’s cloak, night’s cloak…)

Galaga

IT’S RIGHT HERE, COUSIN. ACT 2, SCENE 2.

Cousin

Oh, right. Haha! They should make this thing easier to read, am I right!

Ahem.

“I HAVE NIGHT’S CLOAK TO HIDE!!! ME? FROM THEIR EYES!!!

AND, BUT THOU LOVE? ME! LET THEM FIND ME THERE I mean HERE!!!

MY LIFE WERE BETTER ENDED BY THEIR HATE???

THAN DEATH PROLOGUED uh PROROGUED? WANTING OF THY LOVE???”

Galaga

Cousin

(I knew something was bothering Galaga Ship!)

Galaga

THAT WAS… WELL, IT WAS THE RIGHT LINE.

Cousin

(Yeah, makin’ progress!)

Galaga

AND THEN JULIET GOES…

GALAGA020

“MY WHOSE DIRECTION THOU FOUND’ST THIS PLACE?”

Cousin

(Hm, that wasn’t quite right, actually!)

Oh, uh, Galaga Ship?

Galaga

DON’T TELL ME YOU CAN’T FIND YOUR NEXT LINE, COUSIN!

Cousin

Oh, no. It’s not that.

(But now that Galaga Ship mentions it…)

You, um. That’s not your line.

Galaga

IT’S NOT?

Cousin

Ah, well, it is. But it’s different from that. It goes… Aw, man. Lemme find it.

Here.

“BY WHOS DIRECTION??? FOUND’ST THOU OUT THIS PLACE!!!”

See? You skipped and moved a couple words.

Galaga

I… HUH. YOU’RE RIGHT.

Cousin

Yeah, it’s no big, just FYI.

Galaga

I’VE DONE THAT LINE A HALF DOZEN TIMES AND NEVER CAUGHT MYSELF MAKING THAT MISTAKE.

Cousin

Oh, we all make mistakes we don’t notice.

Even I’m probably doing some stuff a little wrong without noticing it!

Galaga

YEAH, DEFINITELY!

Cousin

(That was weirdly emphatic!)

Galaga

BUT WHAT I’M SAYING IS…

NO ONE EVER CORRECTED ME ON THAT BEFORE…

Cousin

Well, happy to help, Galaga Ship.

Galaga

EVERYONE ELSE JUST LET ME DO THE LINE WRONG.

Cousin

It’s a little thing. They might not have noticed it. Galaga Ship, everyone makes mistakes. It’s totally not a big deal!

Galaga

NO, IT’S NOT. BUT HOW CAN I FIX MY MISTAKES IF NO ONE POINTS THEM OUT?

LIKE, WHAT I MEAN IS, LOOK AT HOW I GOT THIS PART.

REMEMBER? THEY GAVE IT TO ME. NO AUDITION OR ANYTHING.

I JUST GOT IT.

IT’S LIKE, EVERYONE, MY WHOLE LIFE, THEY’VE TREATED ME DIFFERENT.

Cousin

(A villa is a powerful thing around these parts!)

Galaga

LIKE THEY NEVER CARED ABOUT ME.

WHO I AM. OR WHAT I CAN OFFER THE WORLD.

IT WAS ALL ABOUT, Y’KNOW, MY HULL.

Cousin

Your, wait what?

Galaga

I’VE ALWAYS BEEN DEFINED BY MY LOOKS. EVEN IN SCHOOL, THE OTHER KIDS HELP ME STUDY OR TO JUST CHEAT.

I SKIP, I TALK DURING CLASS, I MISS HOMEWORK, AND THE OTHER KIDS COVER ME.

I’M JUST COASTING THROUGH EVERYTHING AND IT’S ALL BECAUSE OF HOW I LOOK. AND THEY DON’T EVEN CARE ABOUT WHO I REALLY AM!

Cousin

(Wow, I had no idea Galaga Ship was so distraught about this stuff!)

Galaga

OH, COUSIN. I’M SO SORRY. I DIDN’T MEAN TO… I’M SORRY.

Cousin

What? No, don’t be!

You don’t, do you think… Do you think I’m like that?

Galaga

I SHOULDN’T HAVE… JUST FORGET I MENTIONED ANYTHING. OKAY?

IT’S NOT YOUR PROBLEM, DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT. WE’RE HERE FOR REHEARSAL, RIGHT? LET’S GET BACK TO THAT.

Cousin

Hey, rehearsal can wait, Galaga Ship. You’re really upset about this. Do you really think your friends don’t care about you? That’s awful.

Galaga

YOU KNOW WHAT’S WORSE, THOUGH? ME!

Cousin

(I-is Galaga Ship a MONSTER???)

Galaga

I’M LIVING WITH A CURSE. A TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE CURSE.

Cousin

(WEREWOLVES ARE CURSED!)

Galaga

BECAUSE, THINK ABOUT IT. I KNOW WHAT THEY’RE DOING, AND I LET THEM SO I CAN GET THINGS FROM THEM. I’M TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THEM!

THAT MAKES ME WORSE!

Galaga’s concerns are suddenly Too Real.

Cousin

Whew, that’s not nearly as bad as a werewolf.

Galaga

???

Cousin

(Uh, whoops.)

Er, by which, I mean, uh, y’know.

It’s bad, okay, but it’s not like you’re literally a monster, i.e. werewolf.

(Nailed it!)

Anyway, we can do something about it!

Galaga

YEAH? LIKE WHAT? ENROLL IN EVIL NAMCO HIGH WHERE ALL THE AWFUL KIDS BELONG?

I hope Evil Namco High is real.

Cousin

No, that’s going too far!

Galaga

IS IT THOUGH? HOW DO I KNOW YOU’RE ANY DIFFERENT FROM THE REST OF THEM? ALL THIS REHEARSAL AND WANTING TO HELP.

HOW DO I KNOW YOU’RE NOT JUST SAYING WHAT YOU THINK I WANT TO HEAR BECAUSE I’M THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SPACESHIP IN SCHOOL?

HOW DO I KNOW YOU’RE NOT JUST TRYING TO IMPRESS ME?

Cousin

Wow, this is a conundrum!

GALAGA021

DigDug

What the-?!

Things get Too Real for Cousin and backup arrives.

Cousin

???

Galaga

!!!

DigDug

What’s going on in here? Is this…

IS THIS SKIPPING?!

Cousin

Ah! Uh, it was for a good reason! We’re rehearsing for the play! For drama club! For school spirit!

DigDug

A likely story. I even believe it.

Parts, anyway.

But the law’s the law! And you’ve broken it! Now you must face the ULTIMATE PUNISHMENT

Cousin

(DEATH???)

DigDug

DOUBLE DETENTION!

Galaga

NOOOOOOO

Cousin

OOOOOOOOO

Oh my god you losers.

Galaga

HOLD ON. THAT DOESN’T SOUND SO AWFUL.

Well I mean if you’re stuck in detention anyway.

DigDug

If I’m honest, it’s just regular detention. ONLY TWICE AS BAD.

Cousin

But how could it get any worse? Do you pump in more of that weird wrestling mat smell in from King?

GALAGA022

Unless King gets some real lines I really don’t wanna bother making him a character icon.

DigDug

Yes, I know. Yes, I’ll tell them.

King says…

Ahem.

“THAT IS THE AROMA OF VICTORY!”

Anyway, his musk is not on trial here. YOU kids are.

I know there was a line earlier about DigDug being scared of King but I just ship it.

The verdict?

GUILTY!

Galaga

WAIT, WHAT? ALL YOU DID WAS SAY “GUILTY”. THAT’S NOT A TRIAL!

King roars.

DigDug

I’m afraid he’s right.

Your sass just earned you seventeen years of double detention!

Cousin

I’ll only be in High School for a total of three years, though.

DigDug

Time works differently in double detention!

Galaga

I DON’T GET IT. WE WERE TOLD TO SHOW SCHOOL SPIRIT TO GET LESS DETENTION, BUT WE EARNED SOME KIND OF BIZARRE HIGHER LEVEL DETENTION BY DOING IT!

DigDug

Logic works differently there, too!

Cousin

(This is all my fault! What have I done!!!)

__________________________________________________________________

000

 

This splash image actually appears with each day progression but I only managed to snatch it this time. It plays a school bell and turns over when the sound file is done, and Namco High being what it is I couldn’t go back and get it easily.

There are a lot of features that are available in most dating sims and visual novels that aren’t in Namco High. Such as being able to remove the text box. I really wish I could remove the text box.

031

DigDug

Seems like all you riff-raff decided to show…

King roars.

Admirable…

But King insists it doesn’t excuse any of your miscreant behavior yesterday.

We’re giving you another chance accept your punishment.

There’s a variety of ways this could be a typo, or only one way it could be an All Your Base reference.

See you at the bell.

Cousin

(I wonder if anyone else got in trouble yesterday?)

I guess scene 3 is trouble with teachers. What could scene 4 be?

GALAGA023

 

Galaga

CAN’T BELIEVE I GOT MORE DETENTION FOR TRYING TO REHEARSE…

IT’S, LIKE, WHAT DO THEY WANT FROM ME?

GET DETENTION, SHOW SOME SCHOOL SPIRIT TO GET OUT OF IT OR MAYBE GET MORE DETENTION FOR IT!

DOUBLE DETENTION, EVEN. WHATEVER THAT IS.

IT’S ALL AKI’S FAULT, REALLY.

Cousin

(Wow, never seen Galaga Ship so upset…)

That’s the end of Galaga’s contribution for this detention. We wait patiently for Detention to be over.

Cousin

(I don’t think any of us are EVER getting out of here.)

__________________________________________________________________

000

032

 

DigDug

I am pleasantly surprised you are all still here…

…but King wants me to remind you we are not surprised you are still delinquents.

See you at the bell.

Cousin

(Another day in the weirdest school and the weirdest detention ever.)

(I wonder how the others are doing?)

GALAGA024

Cousin

Galaga, you seem really stressed out… Maybe I can help out.

Galaga

…………..

GALAGA025

I’m already cringing at whatever gesture Cousin is about to perform.

Cousin

(I think the only way to get to the heart of a Drama student is to pull off a BIG TIME DRAMATIC GESTURE!)

And with that the screen goes black and we relocate.

GALAGA026

Cousin

WOW.

Maybe Galaga Ship is wrong and they really got the part because of the villa…

Anyway, I need to talk to Galaga Ship!

But how!

Ah! I’ll just throw some rocks at its window.

Uh. Which window though???

Obvious solution:

THROW ROCKS AT ALL WINDOWS AT ONCE.

No, wait. That’s crazy.

The courtyard is so immaculate I’d never find enough rocks to do that. Duh!

Wow, is that a hedge maze?

GALAGA027

Galaga

WHO’S OUT THERE?

Cousin

Oh crap! No, wait. That’s good!

Galaga

COUSIN? IS THAT YOU?

Cousin

No!

Wait. Yes, though. How’d you know I was out here?

Galaga

YOU’RE TALKING TO YOURSELF RIGHT OUTSIDE MY WINDOW.

Cousin

Oh, right.

(Darn it, Cousin! Internal monologue! Like this!)

Galaga

IT’S LATE. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Cousin

I came to apologize!

Galaga

FOR WHAT? WAKING ME UP? YOU COULD’VE STAYED HOME AND SAVED SOME TIME!

Cousin

No, not that. Uh, sorry about that too though.

But I meant about the double detention.

Galaga

IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT.

Cousin

Yeah, well…

I just wanted to say, um, my bad anyway!

Galaga

WHO SAYS “MY BAD” ANYMORE?

Me. Sometimes. Sorry to all my friends.

Cousin

Lots of people!

Where I’m from.

(Well, they used to. So many years ago…)

It’s making a comeback!

Galaga

NO, I DOUBT THAT. DONKO WOULD’VE MENTIONED IT TO ME.

ANYWAY, I ACCEPT YOUR ANACHRONISTIC AND UNNECESSARY APOLOGY ALL THE SAME.

Cousin

Great! Because I really wanted to talk about that stuff you mentioned earlier.

Galaga

OH. WHAT, ABOUT NOT EARNING THE PART?

YOU SHOULD JUST IGNORE WHATEVER I SAID.

Cousin

But it’s a real problem! And you shouldn’t have to feel that way!

Galaga

OH, COUSIN. DON’T YOU KNOW HOW INSIDIOUS IT IS? I CAN’T BE SURE YOU’RE NOT PRETENDING TO CARE JUST TO GET CLOSE TO ME.

Cousin

(Wow, that’s pretty twisted! Hadn’t thought of it like that.)

Galaga

DO YOU UNDERSTAND NOW? IT’S HOPELESS. JUST FORGET ABOUT ME AND GET HOME BEFORE IT STARTS TO RAIN.

Cousin

(What choice do I have…?)

(There’s no way through it.)

(Except…)

You leave me no choice, Galaga Ship.

There’s nothing left for me to do but…

USE TOTAL HONESTY!

Galaga

!!!

Cousin

(Here goes nuthin’!)

The words scroll by again too fast for me to catch them. Gettin real tired of this.

But then I got to know you! And I saw a lonely spaceship lost in a crowd of admirers. That’s no way to go through life! You need a true friend and I can do that for you, Galaga Ship, if you’ll let me.

Only the first line of that bit cut off, so I managed to salvage it.

But…

But I understand if you can’t. Some people need to find their own way, spaceships too I guess, and that’s okay.

Galaga

YOU…

YOU MEAN IT?

Cousin

I’m a little nervous right now, so don’t quiz me on every little thing I said exactly, but yeah I meant all of it.

Galaga

YOU REALLY THINK YOU’RE A GOOD ACTOR?

Cousin

(That’s a weird thing to focus on!)

(But this is an emotional time and it’s easy to lose focus on stuff.)

Galaga

IF YOU WERE TRULY DOING THINGS ONLY TO IMPRESS ME…

YOU WOULDN’T HAVE DARED TO GET UP ON STAGE.

YOU GAVE IT YOUR BEST, MOST HONEST SHOT AND IT TURNED OUT, UH…

…THE WAY THAT IT DID.

Cousin

(Yes, those of us on the cutting edge of culture are often ridiculed for our brave expeditions into uncharted territory!)

Galaga

YOU WOULD HAVE DONE ANYTHING ELSE RATHER THAN TO ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE EMBARRASSED LIKE THAT.

MAYBE… MAYBE YOU ARE BEING GENUINE WITH ME. IS… IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE?

Cousin

You’re a wonderful young spaceship and, I mean, I’m open to something more, but I’d be honoured to be a part of your life that makes you happy. And if that means being a true friend…

…I’M THERE!

Galaga

OH… OH, COUSIN!

The romantic music suddenly stops.

GALAGA028

 

parents

What’s all this racket?

Galaga

MOM!!! DAD!!!

Cousin

Ack!

Galaga

IT’S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!

parents

It looks like this hooligan is trespassing!

Cousin

Hooligan?! WHERE!

parents

Don’t get smart with me, kid. You think you’re the first suitor to throw rocks at my spaceship’s window in the middle of the night?

That’s why we don’t have any rocks in the garden!

Heck, what do you think the hedge maze is for?

Aesthetics, yes, but also TO LEAD YOU KIDS AWAY!

Galaga slides behind their parents and exits to the right, leaving Cousin alone with them.

Galaga

YOU GUYS ARE SO EMBARRASSING!

parents

Shut the window and get back to your docking bay!

As for you, shorty.

Cousin

Hey!

parents

I forbid you from visiting my spaceship in school, and especially in the middle of the night!

Mrs. Galaga Ship and I have work in the morning!

Our spaceship has school in the morning!

Even a delinquent like yourself with all kinds of detention has to show up to cause more trouble for innocent school kids at some point!

Cousin

That’s not a fair assessment of my average morning!

(Although I did kind of roll up everything that wasn’t nailed down and most of the stuff that was on my first day…)

(And he’s not wrong about the extra detention thing either…)

(And now I’ve gone and woken up the whole Galaga Ship family! I ruined a whole day for all of them before it even started!)

(Gosh, maybe I should just leave Galaga Ship alone. I’ve done nothing but cause grief!)

Did I… get a bad end…?

parents

Go on now, get out of here! I don’t ever want to see you again!

The screen flashes and there’s the roll of thunder.

THUNDER

KABOOM!!!

And a sound effect of rain begins.

RAIN

TORRENTIAL!!!

parents

And stay away from our spaceship forever!

DOOR

slam!

parents

We’re glad it’s raining on you!

Wow, hahahahaha

DOOR

SLAM!!!

Cousin

Nothing left to do but walk home in the rain and be super sad about everything.

Times like this I wish I could just roll up all my problems, but emotions won’t stick to a Katamari!

Though more immediately, it’d be nice if rain clouds did so I could be super sad but dry.

You can totally roll up rain clouds. Poor inferior cousin.

Maybe I could stumble upon a cliff on my way home. And then fall over the cliff.

No, that’s going too far. I’ll just be super sad.

GALAGA029

PACMAN

 

Cousin.

WHAT HAHAHAHAHHAHHA

Cousin

Uh, Pac-Man? What are you doing out here in the rain?

PACMAN

Be true to yourself, Cousin.

I can’t stop imagining Pac-Man with the voice of James Earl Jones.

Cousin

I don’t know what that means…

PACMAN

Be true to yourself.

Cousin

Yeah, but could you be a little less vague about what that means? It’s raining and I’m super sad.

PACMAN

Cousin.

Be true to yourself.

Cousin

That doesn’t really help me right now, Pac-Man.

Unless…

Unless you mean that being super sad is a way of lying to myself.

A way to wallow in negativity and deny my true self: the part of me that says YES!

Yes, some people seem to think I’m a bad actor, but really I’m quite naturally gifted and just do a different take than most!

And that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try to be less than the best actor I can be!

I kinda screwed up apologizing to Galaga Ship, and now its parents hate me, but that doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world, does it?

All I have to do is stop TRYING to be a part of Galaga Ship’s life and to SIMPLY be who I am. To take a step back and let Galaga Ship make the next move!

IT COULDN’T BE SIMPLER!

Now if only people could figure this out when actually engaging in courtship.

Pac-Man, you’re a true inspiration!

I’m gonna go straight home and be the best Cousin there is!

Cousin disappears from the screen and Pac-Man is alone in the courtyard.

PACMAN

What an odd youngster. I would have been happy to share my umbrella…

__________________________________________________________________

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