Today I went for a long drive around town with my mom and I got tailgated for the first time and when I pulled over to get the guy to go away he flipped me off on the way past and said “fuck you!” It was pretty scary and I was not a fan. But then I had soup so it was okay.

No one in this novel has to deal with mean drivers!

October 11

Dr. Lobotomy writes a journal on Jonathan’s behalf for some reason. He talks about how Mina seems to feel most lucid around sunrise and sunset. It hasn’t been terribly clear that Dracula’s had a real physical effect on her until now.

Apparently they “go out upon our task” in the morning, even though I’m pretty sure they said “tomorrow” on October 6th but okay. Mina tells her husbands that the easiest way for her to go is to die, but that can’t be allowed to happen… which is something Van Helsing told her on October 3rd. Remember in the last post when I talked about plot structure and how Stoker seems to be getting lost in it? I actually can’t find a history of the novel being serialized so I wonder if he had an editor at all.

Mina says she is letting go of her hope to go to heaven, basically, saying “This is what I can give into the hotch-pot.” Dr. Lobotomy identifies this as a legal term hotchpot, which apparently comes in part from hodge-podge, which is a soup we eat around here.

I’m so tired of talking about doing things and I want to go to Transylvania already.

Mina asks the dudes to promise to kill her if she turns like Lucy did, which I think is also a conversation we’ve already had. Quincey comes to kneel before her and promises and she cries and kisses his hand. They take turns promising to cut her head off.

Then her husband turned to her wan-eyed and with a greenish pallor which subdued the snowy whiteness of his hair

So far I’ve pretty much been envisioning Jonathan as young Keanu Reeves, but the white hair detail is kinda fun. Sweet Jonathan is going gray early.

Jonathan asks if he also has to promise to cut Mina’s head off and she says yes.

Think, dear, that there have been times when brave men have killed their wives and their womenkind, to keep them from falling into the hands of the enemy. Their hands did not falter any the more because those that they loved implored them to slay them. It is men’s duty towards those whom they love, in such times of sore trial!

Men usually kill their wives for much less romantic reasons but okay.

Mina asks Van Helsing to be sure her death brings as much comfort to Jonathan as Lucy’s did to Arthur, which he swears. She also asks for them to read the burial service for her. Jonathan gets depressed talking about the subject but he does it after some pleading, which might be some of the most depressing shit that’s ever happened. Dr. Lobotomy, who is of course recording on a phonograph, chokes up. I shouldn’t be mean about how much men cry and embrace their emotions in this novel but I am going to laugh at Dr. Lobotomy because I don’t like him.

I—I cannot go on—words—and—v-voice—f-fail m-me!


October 15

Finally we’re in Bulgaria after they left on the 12th. Jonathan writes about their travels and how they’re now in Varna, staying at a hotel called Odessus. I went to look up if it’s still there, and there is a hotel called Odessus, but apparently Odessus is an ancient name for Varna, so who knows if it’s the same one. Jonathan writes that they’re waiting in port for the Czarina Catherine, Dracula’s boat, and Jonathan himself doesn’t give a shit about anything else until that. Jonathan is comforted that Mina is okay and sleeping well and they’ve been hypnotizing her every night to spy on Dracula.

Meanwhile Arthur has a dude sending him messages daily about whether or not the ship has been reported anywhere. So far it hasn’t been. They’ve got eyes all over on the boat. They are arranging to meet with someone the next day to see if they can get on the ship when she gets in. He says they aren’t expecting much resistance.

Thank God! this is the country where bribery can do anything, and we are well supplied with money.

As long as they know when the ship comes in, which I suspect isn’t going to work out. If we’re going all the way back to Transylvania, I’ll be really disappointed if we don’t go all the way back to Transylvania.

< 55 | TOC | 57 >