I’m excited because tonight I’m going blackberry picking! I love foraging for stuff. This summer has been a disappointment because of the rain but I’m pumped as blackberry and apple season is nigh. I’ve started a batch of raspberry wine, which I’ve never made before, but it tastes really fucking good. Much better than dandelion wine which, in its early days, tastes like lawn.

I went to see Barbie with my niece on Tuesday and we blew a ton of money at the arcade. My nephew didn’t come because he didn’t want to see Barbie but I guess we left him with a nasty case of fomo so now I’m doing the same thing with him next week. I don’t think he wants to see Oppenheimer so the new TMNT will have to do.

I said I’d tell you about the pigeons but I’d have to dig photos out of my phone. I’ll do it next time.

August 23

We start with Dr. Lobotomy who starts his entry with a really weird line.

“The unexpected always happens.” How well Disraeli knew life.

I think he’s referring to Benjamin Disraeli, a former UK prime minister who apparently converted to Christianity from Judaism so he could join parliament, and also wrote some great novels. He died about 10 years before Dracula came out. (This is interesting considering what we’ve learned in the bonus entries about Dracula and Judaism, so I hope he comes up again in our homework.)

Unfortunately I can’t find the quote attributed to him at all. What a shock that Dr. Lobotomy is full of shit! The internet wants to attribute the phrase to Bernard Shaw, who was being born while Dracula was at the printing press, so who knows who is actually full of shit. Perhaps it is me.

Dr. Lobotomy laments that as soon as he’s tempted Renfield with freedom, Renfield refuses to take it. He seems satisfied knowing that Renfield is committed to more quiet stretches. He interrupts his own writing to say that he has to go because Renfield has fled again, in a show of comedic timing that I’m shocked to see in an epistolary novel.

He updates us later to say that Renfield went back to the chapel door and was super pissed this time when Dr. Lobotomy showed up to take him back, but quieted when he saw a large bat wheeling about in the air. Renfield goes back willingly after seeing it, which gives Dr. Lobotomy the creeps.

August 24

In another show of time travel, Mina writes from Budapest. I guess I can’t say how long it would have taken her to get there but I think the Demeter took a lot longer.

Mina is reunited with our boy Jonathan, who is “thin, pale and weak-looking” with none of his resolve or quiet dignity. He is “a wreck of himself,” and apparently doesn’t remember anything that happened to him—or at least wants Mina to believe that. She doesn’t push him to talk about it. Instead she asks Sister Agatha what he said in his ravings, but the sister refuses in the interests of patient confidentiality. The next day (how long has she been here?) reassures her by saying his ravings weren’t about anything shameful or other women or anything. Mina’s like “I would never assume that,” and also, “what a relief!”

Jonathan wakes and entrusts Mina with his notebook, swearing that there be no secrets between them. He can’t fathom what the truth is and he says she can read his journals or not, but asks her to keep secret the truth unless he absolutely needs to know.

Jonathan dozes and when he wakes they have a little wedding in his hospital room. As a wedding gift, Mina wraps the book in paper, ties it shut with a ribbon she has, and seals it with wax and an imprint of her wedding ring. Omg they’re mawwied now she’s sooooo happy uwu.

My dear, please Almighty God, your life may be all it promises: a long day of sunshine, with no harsh wind, no forgetting duty, no distrust. I must not wish you no pain, for that can never be; but I do hope you will be always as happy as I am now.

And soon we’ll be sister wives Lucy omg. Wait till the New Women see THIS!

I really wanna hear about what helpless miserable garbage Jonathan is and how pretty he looks when he cries.

David Tennant cries while clutching a book. He's pretty when he cries.

Meanwhile, Lucy writes in her own diary about how much she misses Mina. She feels tired and uneasy now that she’s home in London. She writes about asking her mom to let her sleep in the same room.

In between these entries I went blackberry picking. The stocks were not great but we’ll check back again next week. The good news is I went with friends and a tiny dachshund puppy named Cecil. Cecil doesn’t think much of me yet but I hope to soon be his Auntie Dawn so he can go with me to see Oppenheimer and spend a fortune at the arcade.

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