Let’s Play Hatoful Boyfriend – Holiday Star! Hato Radio Special Talk Show

LP

 

00

tohri

Welcome to the Nishikikouji Special Talk Show!

tohri

Good evening, folks.
I am the grand artist, who has offered his life, his very soul, up to the imagination: Nishikikouji Tohri.
Welcome to our special time, which you shall spend with me!

I don’t imagine there are many listeners who don’t already know it by heart, but allow me to give a brief introduction to my glorious, exemplary career so far.

Once I was the ace of the Second Optical Ordinance Division of the Hawk Party research organization, and now I am manager at the Crow party, and also chief editor at the popular Golden Weekly magazine!

I doubt anyone in the world is as busy as I am.
You are all incredibly grateful I am taking this time out of my schedule to conduct a question and answer session, of course!

There’s a thump sound.

black

Ryouta

Mister Nishikikouji! Mister Nishikikouji!
Please, open the door!

01

sakuya

Bah, it won’t open no matter how much we push or pull… it must be locked from the inside.

ryouta

What do we do? At this rate an entire chapter of the radio program is going to be overrun with some unfortunate golden pheasant disaster!

sakuya

You in there!
Open up, this instant!
You were bad enough in the Legumentine’s short — are you planning to ruin this, too?!

Do you think an outsider like you will go unpunished for this?!
We won’t stop at charges of trespassing, you hooligan!

00

tohri

It is awfully loud out there.
Would the peanut gallery mind keeping its fevered gibberings to itself?
Hmph! This racket is in no way beautiful.
Let me put on some music.

tohri

Now, then! Let us begin my artistic question and answer session.

The first is from a young lad by the name of “Hatomi is Mai Waifu”.

“When are you going to discontinue Golden☆Dove?
It’s gotten really lame and just feels like he’s run out of ideas with all the new characters he introduces.”

Hey! What?! What is this?!

The emotionally manipulative music choices in this game are too cruel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tohri

Do you know how long Mister Takaishi Pou labored in obscurity, even after he made his debut in high school?!

Living the ignominious life of a non-serialized author… even when he could get serialized positions, he was never popular in questionnaires, so he’d always be dropped!
You cannot possibly comprehend how he suffered.

And then! He came to me! To Golden Weekly!
He was the first artist whose serials worked out for me!
We’ve struggled all this way together, like unfortunate twins joined at the hip and so shamefully forced to run in every three-legged race ever.

Do you have any idea how much sweat, and how many tears, and how much of his own lifeBLOOD he has poured into Golden☆Dove?! You don’t, do you!?
You know nothing of the joy of a long-running series, you disgusting philistine!

So don’t just go talking about discontinuing it! Geez!

The music fades.

tohri

Aah… well, then. Next one.

02

ryouta

Things sure seem lively in there… I wish he’d open the door already.

sakuya

On the contrary, he seems to be ignoring us entirely.
I can’t believe a disgrace like this could be allowed on campus! It is most vexing.

yuuya

You two having trouble?

03

yuuya

The hero makes his appearance when everybody’s in a pickle, right?

ryouta

Yuuya!

sakuya

No one asked you to show up!
…wait, what are you carrying?

yuuya

I’ve got permission to force my way in.
Gotta protect the peace and tranquility of the campus, after all.

I’m gonna break this door down, whether it’s locked or not.
Get back a little.

00

tohri

The second one is from “Testee Robin”.
“I’m tired of the reversible dust jackets. Come up with a more interesting bonus or I’m not buying your magazine anymore.”

Then don’t buy it!
Why would we want readers as low-minded as you, anyway?!

Don’t you think something is wrong this trend among publishers of trying to out-compete each other through bonus items?!
A magazine should be judged by what’s inside! That’s where the competition lies!

Do not be fooled by those frivolities.
The real artistry lies sparkling with–

04

yuuya1

That’s as far as you go, Nishikikouji Tohri!
Put your wings behind your head!

tohri

Wh… what is a high school student doing with that thing?!

ryouta1

Didn’t you know, Mister? It’s a must-have item for any fashionable teenage boy!

sakuya2

We have you surrounded!
Come quietly, and don’t try anything!

yuuya1

Let’s make this as nice as possible, shall we?
I don’t want to have to shoot you. Not very much, anyway.

tohri

That rifle… ah, I see. So you’re with JB…

Hoho, very well. I shall withdraw for today.
But one day, this school shall be mine!

There’s shattering glass, and the sound of flapping wings.

ryouta1

Darn it, there goes another window…

sakuya2

If you’re going to go leaping out a window, at least open it first!

yuuya1

Anyway, we’ve secured the broadcast room.
We’re short on time, so you should probably get started.

ryouta1

Right. Thank you, Yuuya!

sakuya2

But… where does he keep getting those things…?

05

ryouta1

Now then… let’s try this again.

The How and Why of Saint Pigeonation’s!
Here’s the question box!

sakuya3

I’ll be joining in today.

ryouta1

This time we’ve got questions from westerners!
My English isn’t very good, so Sakuya will be helping out.

sakuya3

Already in high school and you still can’t use English? Your future is bleak indeed.

ryouta1

I’m not planning to go overseas, so it won’t be that bad… I hope…

All right, first question!
From one “ssfsx17”.
…that… sounds more like a password than a handle…

sakuya3

“What is Hiyoko’s favourite weapon — the bow, the sword, or the spear?”

“What is Hiyoko’s favourite weapon — the bow, the sword, or the spear?”
Can you answer that, Kawara?

Once in English and once for his translation into Japanese.

ryouta1

Hiyoko’s favorite weapon…?
Well, a few years ago she really liked the Bamboo Pole, but I think lately she’s been using the Copper Sword more.

sakuya3

A copper sword for hunting?
Wouldn’t it be a bit dull for that?

ryouta1

It doesn’t cut very well, but she said it doesn’t matter because she just bludgeons everything to death anyway.

All right, let’s keep going.
We are a little short on time, thanks to a certain someone!
This one is for you, Sakuya.

sakuya3

It’s from “rabbitdoubt”.
“Sakuya, please let me touch your feathers. I want to touch your feathers.”

Never!

ryouta1

Hey, translate it into English first!
Or Japanese, I guess, since this is the English release. I don’t actually need you here at all, but if we started cutting whole characters out of scenes just because language barrier jokes don’t really work then things would get confusing pretty quickly, right?

sakuya3

“Sakuya, please let me touch your feathers. I want to touch your feathers.”
Why should I let myself be touched by common riffraff?!

ryouta1

That’s too bad, rabbitdoubt.
Maybe he’ll let you touch them if you become nobility.

sakuya3

This one’s anonymous.
“What are your thoughts on Brian Pigeon?
Do you consider his blog to be quality literature?”

“What are your thoughts on Brian Pigeon?
Do you consider his blog to be quality literature?”

ryouta1

On second thought, maybe it would be okay if you didn’t bother repeating everything, after all.

sakuya3

 

Look here, peasant! I’ve got one job on this lousy show. It’s stupid, but I’m going to do it! Is that clear?

ryouta1

Okay, okay…!
Anyway, Brian… wait, who?

sakuya3

Don’t you even know that, you ignoramus?!
He is a great pigeon from the great land of Great Britain, and the very first intellectual columbid!
Go google “Brian Pigeon”, for the good of us all.

06

ryouta1

Wh-whoa!
But… this blog is in English.
English localization or no, I still can’t read it…

sakuya3

Of course it’s in English.
He lives in London.

His posts may even count as fine literature– at the very least they’re culturally quite valuable.
They will definitely leave a mark on avian history to come.

ryouta1

Wow, he must be really important.
I’ll have to work hard on my English, so I can read his blog!

Here is the last one… it’s anonymous, too.
It’s for San.

sakuya3

“I love you.”

07

okosan

Cooooooooooooooooooooo!
(Okosan loves you, too!)

ryouta1

Sakuya! Sakuya! I understood that!

sakuya3

Don’t act so proud, neophyte!

ryouta1

Well, I guess that’s about it for today.

sakuya3

Indeed. We shall have to cut this session short.
It’s almost time for the school to close.
Let us make a smooth exit.

ryouta1

Yup!
Bye-bye, everybirdie!

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