Prophets & Players

Narrative Nerd

58 Let’s Read Dracula Like a Fujoshi — Brains of All Sizes and Flavors

So a couple friends of mine—I want to say they’re “work friends” but we’re all freelancers who live on different parts of the planet and share a discord channel—went to see two different performances of Dracula as a ballet performance. The one in Salt Lake City apparently had Dracula swimming in brides, while the one in Milwaukee had the standard three, and is apparently very spicy. I stole some images from this tumblr that took screenshots of a sexy Dracula/Jonathan pas de deux.

One man leaning over another.

There’s more. Go see for yourself. I kinda miss being in Romania. I encourage everyone reading this to check out their local theatre and ballet shows.

I have no good excuse for why I didn’t write this up sooner, I just didn’t want to have a bunch of entries that were like, “we’re waiting. We’re waiting some more!” The “suspense” is killing me.

I got my flu shot and covid booster at the same time yesterday and I feel like I have a distant and weak flu that is turning me into a cranky baby.

I’m going to blast through all the waiting as fast as possible. I hope you don’t mind.

57 Let’s Read Dracula Like a Fujoshi — When Suspense is Boring

Good morning friends! Halloween approaches and I’m considering some kind of cheap vampire costume to greet trick-or-treaters with but also I’m sooooo lazy.

56 Let’s Read Dracula Like a Fujoshi — Money Over Scruples

Today I went for a long drive around town with my mom and I got tailgated for the first time and when I pulled over to get the guy to go away he flipped me off on the way past and said “fuck you!” It was pretty scary and I was not a fan. But then I had soup so it was okay.

No one in this novel has to deal with mean drivers!

55 Let’s Read Dracula Like a Fujoshi — Quincey is All Man

So my cat had diarrhea and while treating the diarrhea he became constipated and thank god I work for a rescue because this could have been a much more expensive affair otherwise. Here’s to Scruffy who successfully pooped this morning and narrowly avoided an enema, and here’s to Halifax Cat Rescue Society, please send them money.

Away we go back in time today to October 4th while mister poopsalot was still pooping a lot and not refusing to poop.

54 Let’s Read Dracula Like a Fujoshi — The Woman; Soft Sweet Property

Content warning: discussion of rape and sexual assault. Lots of things in this Let’s Read so far has eroticized dubious consent with Dracula and Jonathan. I’m not doing that today, but I do look really hard how Dracula’s horror monster assault can be seen as real human rape, and reckon with that as it is. I imagine if you’ve read this far you know what you’re in for, but I wanted to warn you just in case.

Falling behind on Dracula Daily! Today is October 7th, which is Thanksgiving Weekend in Canada, which means I’ve got a bunch of social stuff to do on top of my usual work. The great benefits however are that I get to eat a lot.

I did also take Scruffy to the vet on Thursday which was pretty draining. The good news is that the vet isn’t worried about him. Scruffy’s going to get an upgrade in the food department as soon as I can get off my butt to go to PetSmart. He does seem to be feeling better, but more furious with me than ever after the vet trip. Alas.

I’m going to hope I can get through all this massive Dracula day in one go but that might be easier said than done.

53 Let’s Read Dracula Like a Fujoshi — Prig of the First Water

Too tired for an intro this morning, let’s gooo

52 Let’s Read Dracula Like a Fujoshi — Emotional Support Terriers

Instead of reading Dracula yesterday as I probably should have, I binge-read Blue Flag and started making chow chow with my friend. After chopping a bunch of onions I went to sleep with a terrible headache and this morning I still have it. It feels like one of those “I had a big cry” headaches. I did cry a bit at the onions.

Anyway, that’s why this post is late. I always forget how busy I am in the fall because of my canning and preserving hobby. This is my first year making chow chow but as everything comes into season suddenly I want to stash it all for the winter and make twelve kinds of jam, and it all has a time limit. I think cooking with seasonal fruit and vegetables is amazing so I like to take full advantage until I have to hunker down with my preserves for the winter.

All that is to say that I want to fully embody the time I exist in, and it’s hard when the present has very time-consuming projects Dracula, jam, pumpkin bread, wine, etc. And Thanksgiving is next weekend! And Seasonal Affective Disorder is out for blood!

51 Let’s Read Dracula Like a Fujoshi — Mina Harker’s Reverse Harem

This blog is gonna be my part-time job for a few weeks I guess while we haul through the majority of Dracula. Please leave me a tip so I can spend it on bath bombs.

If you have to ask what a reverse harem is, I’m making this joke because anime and such are often replete with a boring anime dude doing nothing of note and ending up with a hundred girlfriends (usually not literally, but they’re all in love with him anyway). Readers unironically call this his “harem.” “Reverse harem” is what happens when the trope is used by a romantic manga for women—one girl and her plethora of male suitors. Again, it usually doesn’t refer to literal polygamy. Usually.

Maybe I should be embarrassed by all this anime knowledge but I do basically read manga for a living.

50 Let’s Read Dracula Like a Fujoshi — Four Hours, Four Thousand Words

Had to do a bunch of work today and was thrilled to finally chill and then I remembered this doozy in my inbox. Even Dracula Daily warns me to “buckle in.” I think if I get tired halfway through I might do the rest tomorrow. Starting this at 8:50pm, let’s go.

I don’t mean to complain about this. I love this blog, I love writing it, I love reading Dracula, but I’m gonna love it even more when it’s over and I can laugh at my own stupid jokes instead of having to do the work and write the jokes.

49 Let’s Read Dracula Like a Fujoshi — Science vs Folklore

OKAY let’s get caught up today. No whammies. Mommy wants to stop stressing about this and play video games.

By the way! My mother was trying to bully me into going on a cruise with her. I’ve done a few brief cruises on the Baltic, but I find the limited time available really stressful. Go for an afternoon and run back before you can do anything. Anyway, I convinced her instead to take a trip with me to Ireland. She’s nerdy about family trees and such so I proposed we go there and look around, perhaps connect to our lineage. So maybe about this time next year (2024) I’ll be writing about our trip. I plan to slurp up any and all Bram Stoker content to report back to you even if it means resurrecting this blog series. We don’t have much of a plan yet for where to go but I suspect we’ll be in Dublin for a few days and probably wander west to Tipperary, where our family apparently comes from. If you’ve got some suggestions of secret vampire stuff, hook me up!

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