Prophets & Players

Narrative Nerd

38 Let’s Read Dracula Like a Fujoshi — Blood Blast Me, Daddy

For today’s entry I wrote in my planner that it was LG, and then I circled the LG with a red pen, so I’ll obey this message from myself and get these done right away.

 

September 6

This day’s entry comes in two parts. The first is a telegram from Dr. Lobotomy to Van Helsing, telling him there’s been a change for the worse and Van Helsing must come at once.

37 Let’s Read Dracula Like a Fujoshi — Suck Some Sugar Off Me

You guys, I am so good at working too much that the burnout is starting to rub off on Fujoshi Dracula. I’m starting to be able to cut back on work that doesn’t pay so well, thank dog, but I need a vacation. I’m starting to plan some trips for next year so I can hold a gun to future-me’s head and force them to take some time off.

For now, there’s five Dracula Days to catch up on.

36 Let’s Read Dracula Like a Fujoshi — More Fragile than a Whitby Lucky Duck

August 31st. We’re on our way out of summer season and into spooky season and I’m not ready. The summer here has been wet and soggy and pretty depressing overall. I actually pulled out a pillow I have for my laptop to find it just riddled with mildew. The only thing that caused it was an open window. I did some cool stuff but I wish there had been more opportunities for sunny day adventures. I hope your summers were more fun than mine!

 

Today we have a letter from Arthur to his former lover, Dr. Lobotomy. He asks the bad doctor to take a look at Lucy, as he’s worrying about her and he can’t talk to Lucy’s mother about it at risk of killing her. But although Lucy doesn’t know about her mother’s poor health, Arthur is sure she has something on her mind.

Apparently Lucy took some convincing to allow Dr. Lobotomy to check her out, since she dumped him and everything. Arthur goes so far as to tell him when he needs to show up and how the visit will go to keep everyone chill. He also appeals to Dr. Lobotomy’s heart, to try to look out for Lucy.

As we all know, women are prone to just nuclear melting down in the face of distress. Just look at Lucy’s mom! More fragile than a Whitby Lucky Duck.

It’s a short post today but I wanted to make sure all my months are compartmentalized as well as they can be on my blog page. Can’t wait to see a smaller cowboy reunion!

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35 Let’s Read Dracula Like a Fujoshi — Ducks and Cormorants and Doves, Oh My!

I sheltered my good friend Waverly from some inclement weather last night and they told me that during a goth phase that they had gone to Whitby in the UK, (for Dracula reasons, natch) and about how one of the favourite local souvenirs is the Whitby Glass Lucky Duck. LOOK AT THESE.

A row of glass ducks with colors reminiscent of birthstones labeled by month.

I simply must go there one day and get one. Please let this silly blog do what Bram Stoker never did and go to the places I write about.

34 Let’s Read Dracula Like a Fujoshi — Europe Teleportation

I’m excited because tonight I’m going blackberry picking! I love foraging for stuff. This summer has been a disappointment because of the rain but I’m pumped as blackberry and apple season is nigh. I’ve started a batch of raspberry wine, which I’ve never made before, but it tastes really fucking good. Much better than dandelion wine which, in its early days, tastes like lawn.

I went to see Barbie with my niece on Tuesday and we blew a ton of money at the arcade. My nephew didn’t come because he didn’t want to see Barbie but I guess we left him with a nasty case of fomo so now I’m doing the same thing with him next week. I don’t think he wants to see Oppenheimer so the new TMNT will have to do.

I said I’d tell you about the pigeons but I’d have to dig photos out of my phone. I’ll do it next time.

33 Let’s Read Dracula Like a Fujoshi — The Dr. Lobotomy Sedative Timewarp

Hello again. I have survived August deadline hell and let me tell you I am so tired. I was hoping to recover over the weekend but people who love me keep making plans because they want to spend time with me, and I can’t say no because I love them too. Feeling a little burnt out and I hope I can shake it soon.

This morning in my backyard, chickadees are everywhere and don’t seem to care if I’m here or not. I love chickadees. Yesterday too I encountered a particularly mouthy bluejay and set out a few peanuts for it. I watched it from my door as it tried to calculate where to cache one so it could come back for the rest. I’ve also seen some song sparrows back here with me but I haven’t coaxed the crows in yet. Next time I’ll tell you about the pigeon family.

I’ve got another treat at the end of this post for hardcore Dracula fans.

32 Let’s Read Dracula Like a Fujoshi — Soon to a City of Delicious Chumps

Tomorrow, August 18th is deadline hell day! Soon, I will be free. Freedom is right next door. Freedom is just peeking in.

31 Let’s Read Dracula Like a Fujoshi — Bedtime Disney Princess

So my blog doesn’t have ads because, frankly, I’m too stupid to figure out how to put ads on my blog. So if you wanna support me and this silly project, please tell your friends about it and consider leaving me a tip, perhaps? Otherwise I might have to figure out how to put ads on my blog.

grey tuxedo cat preens for the camera

30 Let’s Read Dracula Like a Fujoshi — No Homo. Unless…?

Did you know we’re not even halfway through this book yet? Entry 30 let’s go.

29 Let’s Read Dracula Like a Fujoshi — How Sweet Was Lucy Today?

I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is, I got a contract to copy edit a gay porno. The bad news is it’s a rush job so the next week and a half are going to be exhausting, but I’m going to do my best to keep up with Dracula. Dropping one raunchy gay porno to read another! This is the good life.

And yes, if your dream in life is to proofread gay pornos, you can do it too! But you shouldn’t because I want those jobs, thank you.

August 9th is another cutting from The Daily Graph (The Dailygraph?) so I’m going to summarize this guy again because his editors are letting him get away with murder.

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